Lick that wall.
Lick that wall.
For god's sake, lick that wall.
HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU TO LICK THAT WALL?

Latebra

It was so quiet - now my dreams run!
Now my old books screech!
And I can't
Walk around,
Walk away,
Leak out right,
Or feather my way.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Took driving lessons, accidentally made my contribution to the music history, felt something for a person without being the one who initiated it, quit a job because of emotional abuse and started working on a project when a person I was almost scared of invited me to join.

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
The wish I made at midnight makes me laugh right now. I'm glad it did not come true.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Whenever I go to look at my friends' albums, babies keep on popping up in photos. I love it!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
The year started with the death of a very dear person. A funeral on the Christmas Eve felt surreal.
The year also ended with the death of a relative. We found out only from a returned parcel.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. I don't want this to happen for the fourth year in a row....2012, please.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Ability to see things the right way. Steady income flow.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July was a pretty intense month, so was June.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I had a set of worldwide viral videos that will probably go down in music history and be shown to generations to come.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I was scared to submit my designs to a bunch of projects, I was scared of some job interviews...generally, I was scared. And I didn't seek the reasons for it until very, very late.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
It turned out I have convergence insufficiency. It's a bitch when you already PMDD and anxiety. Oh, and I had stomach bug which I hadn't had for 20 years...twice. At the very end of the year, it turned out my cholesterol is slightly higher than normal, and my iron is near the limit, too.

11. What was the best thing someone bought you?
My best gift ever came by itself, walking on her little legs, dehydrated and wanting someone to take her home. Money can't buy that. Oh, and I have something only 4 other people in the world have, but that one doesn't poop on the living room carpet.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Someone moved me with their words on the 17th of June. If I said who it was, everyone'd think I'm sucking up to him. It's a male, 40-years-old, really loud, getting his nose into everything. Like all people born on a cusp, he was super-cruel with his observations of me, but I took it right and there was some improvement in the way I see things.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My ex-boss - he degradated me in his own weird way.
The odd guy I met in October 2010 that I no longer speak with.
The guy whom I met mid-2011 - I'm not sure how to define him at this point.
The client I had during the winter. I ended up being scared of working for him.
Not sure about this, but one of my best friends rapidly changed in September/October.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food, concerts, bills, new computer.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I don't get excited much.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
La Sera - "Never Come Around"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? I never know how to respond to this one.
b) Fatter or skinnier? Compared to this exact time in 2010, no change. But I was fatter throughout the year.
c) Richer or poorer? Poorer. Working on it and somewhat glad it went the way it did.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Working. Number 19 prevented that.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying, speculation and being scared of people and things.

20. How do you plan to spend Christmas?
Ask my aunts.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes. I unexpectedly turned out to be having feelings for someone without anyone pushing me into it, so, technically, it's the first time I fell in possible and doable love. It was unrequited, never confessed to that person and he messed my mind up, badly. I don't want to know what he thought of me for real; but it was a strange experience as I have never before met a person who never said a single good word about me.

22. How many one night stands?
Eww.

23. What was your favourite TV program?
The Simpsons, House, Aqui non hay que viva reruns.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate...it's a sad way to waste life.

25. What was the best book you read?
I haven't read anything since March and I read only a couple of Chernobyl-related books this year.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery of the year?
It's a long list!

27. What did you want and get?
The "basic human decency from someone specific..." from the 2010. survey came around in a very unusual way, though it's still not what I would've wanted it to be Oh, and I wanted to drive. There you go, I'm driving.

28. What did you want and not get?
A lot of previous questions illustrate wasted opportunities and things which never were opportunities.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Hmmm...I only saw Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28 and I had some friends come over. I also had my salary lowered by ummm...90 percent, and apparently, "the date was coincidental"; which is why another person fired me on the same day in 2010. Might have to hide my birth date if I get a reoccurring job in 2012.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A full-time or reoccurring job, not holding onto things I don't even understand and things that are smoke and mirrors, etc.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Hiding the tummy fat.

33. What kept you sane?
If I knew, I'd want more of it. (same as in 2010)

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I am barely interested in the one I'm interested in by default, even...it's an odd year, 2011.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
This was the darkest year of the century so far. 'nuff said.

36. Who do you miss?
I find myself missing people who are with me, because they're somehow not with me.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I'm not sure. I have never met this many people within a single year.

38. What was the best thing you ate?
Tapas at the Zapata restaurant!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?
When it's already complicated, it can become only more complicated.

2009
2010

Čeznula sam za tobom godinama, godinama
i onda sam te konačno dobila.

Imam te već dve godine,
ali te, pak, nisam uzjahala.

Samo se bojim da će čar-sulj
proklijao u snovima o tebi
tokom mojih šiparičkih godina
i dugih zimskih noći
ispariti ukoliko te budem liznula.

Prete mi da će te ponovo odvesti,
moja draga Bela.

Dragocena knjižica bez ijedne slike
koja bi mi izazvala leptiriće,
volim da maštam.

Imam te,
imam te,
za druge to ne bi bilo nikakvo čudo,
ali za mene je s godinama postalo...
...imam te!

______________________________________

My Baby White

I've longed for you for years and years
And then I finally got you.

I've had you for two years now,
But somehow I did not ride you.

I just worry that the spell-bean
Sprouted underneath dreams of you
During my teen years
And cold winter nights
Would fade if I get a bite.

They threaten to take you away from me,
My baby White.

Precious book with no single picture in it,
That would cause me butterflies,
I like to daydream.

You're mine,
You're mine,
For others it would be no miracle,
But for me it's become so throughout the years...
...you're mine!

It's not much of a bird,
So we won't be feeling bad.
It cannot even sing.

Strange place, this hell!
I'm glad I stopped this voyage,
What kind of water could burn like this?
What kind of water could smell like this?

Zakrčeni krvotok

Some plant the sparks at the bottom of their hearts,
On the day when they open their eyes,
After they get out of the cage,
And after they'd learned to swim.
Those sparks blossom
But not for anyone else
Yes, there are quite large traffic jams in some blood streams

The shortest summer ever.
The worst tyres ever.

Kuca 'bona maca

Me say me like any kitty.
Me pretend to see puppy.
Me do not mind you candy.
Me love you.
Me honest?!
Me!

Udoviodpaučine

And what on Earth are you?
Who the hell are you?
Shell of a parrot!