Climbing the E, all the way up, to see what's over there,
Climbing the E, all the way up, because I never have,
I found a school, but no school has ever made my day.
Pedaling down the E, because I got lost in my thoughts again,
The sun is about to set, but it's breathing behind my neck,
You can see it come around, you can't see it go away.
These trees are younger than me,
These trees were car markings when I was a child.
I slalom among them just for the sake of it.
Back when it was not really trees,
I was not allowed to wander around as I pleased,
I walked up the E just for the sake of it.
And that's where it gets tough,
And that's where it gets rough,
That's when you know you'll grow up,
And you can cross any street you like,
But then you don't, for many, many years.
And that's where everything gets dark,
And it's no longer a walk in the park,
That's when you could lose your spark,
I could have been standing there every year,
On the orange-green corner of E and E,
That used to be just blindingly white.
I could have been spying on ice cream trucks at night,
The way I did when I was a little child.
But even then, unpredictable things were bound to happen,
Once I bumped into people postering the machine wire fence,
And this time a car pulled away when I really, really had to go.
Teach me how to get up when they beat me down,
Or I'll be just looking at the pies on the corner of E and E,
The way I once looked at that float I could not have.
Teach me how to bounce back when I miss the ground,
Or I'll be just looking at the wire on the corner of E and E,
Seeing crosses as cancel buttons and not pluses to have.
Teach me how to achieve some sort of balance, please,
Or I'll be losing my plastic on the corner of E and E,
I already know how to be ascetic enough, just not brave.
- November 14th and December 18th, 2016
This poem was originally named ExE in lack of a better title that does not reveal too much. The current title came after it was posted.
Chronologically, the non-retrospective part happens a couple of hours before What If The Mirror Had Swallowed The Room? Both E's appear in the walking alone verses of See You Again and yeah, I know Springsteen had one, too and made it his band, but this is different.