Sitting There in September

Sitting There in September, straight from The Year 13.

I was just sitting there, malcontent
Never saying what I was dreaming of
In a way, the only thing I wanted
Was to prove myself I was unwanted.
So, I got it.

I was just sitting there, by barbed wire
Never sharing the wildest of my dreams
As years go by, I realise that I never spoke
Because that was not how I wanted to speak
So, I got it.

Why am I greeted by your name?
Why do I believe my life is punishment?
Why do I no longer find you beautiful?

Is this my probation or your game?
Or is somebody else in the chair?
Why I no longer find your words wonderful?

I was just sitting there, shivering, all day
Never asking what I was really there for
In a way, the reason my lips were sewn shut
Was being too poorly to want to be happy
So, I got it.

I was just sitting there, crying every night
Never doing anything more than being mean
As years go by, everything changes and crashes
Because it was not just me and it will never be
So, I got it.

Why do I never really say your name?
Why do I draw tally marks even now, in light?
Why do I finally get it? Do I get it?

Is this your probation or my game?
Or is somebody else in the chair?
Why are those mazes of words so wonderful?

- September 06th and 07th, 2016


Pigeons eating. September 07th, 2012

Pigeons eating. September 07th, 2012

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