Obezglaviti je / Beheading it

Obezglaviti je

Obezglavjuju je da bi bila prihvatljive veličine,
da ne bi bila zastrašujuća,
da bih mogla da ostanem ovde blizu, još malo,
da ne bih bila izgurana.

I posle svih ovih godina, neko i dalje mora da se davi,
to sam ja.
Nikad ti nisam rekla sve ono što sam želela,
ustvari, nikad ti nisam ništa ni rekla,
sad, ni ne sećam se šta je to trebalo da bude.

Neki brodovi nikad neće isploviti,
pod težinom snova,
ne mogu sad da se brinem, moram da pouključujem mašine,
da, ja.
Ne mogu sad da se brinem, davim se i ne davim se,
da, ja.
Ja.
Ja.
Šta je to tako strašno u vezi sa mnom?

Jednom sam vikala sa druge obale,
drugog mora,
poslužio si se još jednim koktelom,
a ja sam otišla na sahranu.

Ja sam ogledalo,
prema tome,
ne mogu da vratim ono što mi nije dato,
svi greše,
pogotovo ti.

Samo napred, potopi mi srce,
daviću se što dalje od tebe,
plivaću što dalje od tebe,
plutaću što dalje od tebe,
kao izbeglica,
do mesta gde sam se nekad davno pronašla.

Samo napred, uništi me,
surfovaću što dalje od tebe,
upravljaću brodom što dalje od tebe,
jahaću na delfinima što dalje od tebe,
kao povratnik,
na mesto gde sam se nekad davno pronašla.

Samo probaj da mi zameriš zbog toga,
samo probaj.

__________________________________________________

Beheading Love

Beheading love to make its size acceptable,
So it would not be frightening,
So I could remain a bit closer
And not get pushed away.

Years later, someone has to be drowning still,
It's me.
Never got to tell you what I wanted to,
Actually, never got to tell you anything,
Don't remember what it was anyway.

Some ships will never sail away,
Under the heavy weight of dreams
Can't worry now, have to turn the machines on,
Yes, me.
Can't worry now, I'm drowning and not drowning,
Yes, me.
Me.
Me.
What's so upsetting about me?

I once yelled from the other side,
Of the other sea,
You helped yourself with another cocktail.
And I went to a funeral.

I'm a mirror,
Therefore,
I cannot give back what was not given to me,
Everybody is wrong.
Especially you.

Go on and drown my heart,
I'll be drowning away from you,
Swimming away from you,
Floating away from you,
As a refugee,
To the place where I found myself, long ago.

Go on and tear me apart,
I'll be surfing away from you,
Steering away from you,
Riding dolphins away from you,
As a returnee,
To the place where I found myself, long ago.

Don't you dare put me down for it,
Don't you dare.

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