Where was I?

! This post was written long ago. What you're reading is not necessarily how I feel about things in 2017. This blog was started by an 18-year-old in 2001. Please, keep that in mind before you freak out.

I have not blogged in about two months and then my dear friend Radmila told me I should. I tried to, but a (possibly irrational) fear triggered by something that happened precisely three and half years ago made me vow that I was not going to write anything here until the end of 2012 or the famed end of the world; because I would only mess something up, not knowing what something was.

Then I realised I was obsessed with my fear and that many things have changed since then. While some things related to that fear are bordering absurd right now; I am pretty sure that I can wait for them to change.

At the same time, I have this desperate, desperate need to do certain things right this time. Somewhat of a co-worker, whose face I have never even seen, ends up reading my concerns on almost daily basis and I bet he's fed up with my "Have I done this right?", "Did something I say over there hurt or piss off [name omitted]?", "I just don't want [name omitted] to be angry!" ...

...and this is the moment when I'm slapping myself upside my face and saying: "Enough of that, already! How old are you? Twenty-five? No, twenty-nine! You grew up and you know what you're doing!"

So, where was I before the break?

- I was starting to redesign my online portfolio, after which I was supposed to come up with matching designs for both blogs.

- My two friends and I were working on what was to be an indie magazine in our native language. We were absolutely fed up with the amount of really low culture, schund, hate and degradation of females in the existing online magazines, including the one I worked with for a period of six months. This would be on hold right now anyway, as one of them went to work in another country during the summer season.

- I was working on pre-print of two books, one of them being Wrong Star (mostly written in 2010, with original versions of the poems prior to editing available here, on this blog) and the other being Tour d'Ennui, four times as short whiny and melodramatic account of my 2011 experiment. Wrong Star is the best thing I have ever written, connecting things that might seem unrelated at first. Tour d'Ennui is not that good in terms of poetry, but the fact that I was living through it and knowing I would fail and writing about it as it was happening is something I am proud of.

- Sometime in March, I took some of my 2004-2007 stuff with one shared symbol: tram tracks and started working on putting that together and editing it.

- I was redoing and moving all of my fanlistings. If you don't know what that it, it does not matter, it's a trivial web 1.0 concept of what resembles nowadays' Facebook Pages. The only good thing about them is that you get to design them yourself and have full control over what they look like.

- I started writing some recipes, to share my experience from Italian cuisine classes and my take on mostly cakes I picked up from various foreign blogs.

- I had about 100 unfinished posts for my other blog, Gunđam po kućama.

So? Yeah. My next mission is to handle the above things, alongside work and whatever is the other thing I am doing, without abandoning or delaying anything, until the end of the year. Let's hope this is possible!

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