Sunovrat / Downfall

! This post was written long ago. What you're reading is not necessarily how I feel about things in 2016. This blog was started by an 18-year-old in 2001. Please, keep that in mind before you freak out.

Sunovrat

Iskopala sam ovu rupu,
niko me nije terao
i rasprsnuću se u komadiće
onda kad bude povikala na mene.
Nije mi bila potrebna,
ali tako to ide.
I niko je nije terao
da mi potpomaže u kopanju.
Onda sam propala kroz nju.

Ne kopaj se dok te kopam.
Ne kopaj se dok te kopam.
Ne kopaj se dok te kopam.
Ne kopaj se dok te kopam.

Dole sam imala neke ptice,
zvezde i Mesec,
plastične i staklene čaše,
te mnogo...ne znam!
Ne znam šta je to bilo,
ali znam šta to nije
i znam šta neće nikad biti.

Dole sam imala neke viljuške,
kišu i Sunce,
zvuk i neke glasove,
kakva pogrešna rabota!
Ne znam šta je to bilo,
ali znam šta to nije
i znam šta neće nikad biti.

Stoj. Mesto.
Nešto bih da ti kažem.
TIŠINA.
Znala sam.
Postaću kamen.
Kao ti.

Ne zatrpavaj se dok te kopam.
Ne zatrpavaj se dok te kopam.
Ne zatrpavaj se dok te kopam.
Ne zatrpavaj se dok te kopam.

Ne trebaju mi zvezde,
praviću ih od papira
i držaću ih iznad sebe na staklenoj polici.

Ne treba mi Mesec,
imam lampu, staviću je gore
i ako zvezde izgore...ionako su bile ništa.

Ne trebaju mi noćne ptice koje lete u čudnoj formaciji,
ne trebaju mi ehoi zvukova koji nikad ne utihnu.
Velika stvar, obojiću se u belo i leteću
pretiću papirnim krilima lampi koja je postala Mesec.

Ne trebaju mi.
Mogla bih da živim u svojoj glavi, kao...
Mogla bih da živim u hermetičkom svetu, kao...
Mogla bih da spavam u kavezu, baš kao...

Sahraniću bicikl tačno tu,
zakopaću ga sa pravim pticama,
pa neka Meseca na nebu više ne bude,
neka se sve te ptice pod zemljom poguše,
neka se podave u svom tom sirćetu,
tamo dole i ovako i onako nema krvi.

Delovi kojih neće biti:
Zatrpavam se dok me kopaš.
Kopam se dok me kopaš.
Govori!

_________________________________________

Downfall

I dug this hole
Nobody really urged me to
And I will break to pieces
Once it yells at me.
I didn't need it
But it's the way it goes.
And nobody urged it
To help me dig it.
Then I fell down.

Don't dig yourself when I dig you.
Don't dig yourself when I dig you.
Don't dig yourself when I dig you.
Don't dig yourself when I dig you.

I had some birds in there,
The starts and the moon,
Plastic and glass cups
And a lot of...I don't know!
I don't know what it was
But I know what it is not
And what it will never be.

I had some forks in there,
The rain and the sun,
Sounds and some voices
What a wrong thing to do!
I don't know what it was
But I know what it is not
And what it will never be.

Stop. Stop right here.
I want to tell you something.
SILENCE.
I knew it.
I'll become a rock.
Like you.

Don't bury yourself when I dig you.
Don't bury yourself when I dig you.
Don't bury yourself when I dig you.
Don't bury yourself when I dig you.

I don't need stars.
I can make them out of paper
And hold them on the glass shelf above me.

I don't need the moon.
I have a lamp to put up high
And if the stars burn...it's nothing, anyway.

I don't need the birds of night flying in an odd formation,
I don't need echoes of sounds that never end.
Big deal, I will paint myself white and fly on my own
Flapping paper wings at the lamp that became moon.

I don't need them.
I could live in my own head, like...
I could have a hermetic world, like...
I could sleep in a cage, just like...

I'll bury the bicycle right here,
I'll bury it with the real birds,
And may the Moon be gone from the sky,
May all those birds suffocate underground,
May they all drown in all that vinegar,
There's no blood down there, either way.

Parts that will not come to be:
I'm burying myself when you dig me,
I'm digging myself when you dig me.
Talk!

One Reaction to Sunovrat / Downfall

  1. Lelei says...

    I like the whole gigging situation and how you end up doing what you are asking someone else stop doing. Isn't always the case? Particularly like the first verse
    and how it made me think from a time when digging a deep hole was usual for me even if I didn't want to 🙁

     
     

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