Šta-god-to-bilo / Whatever-It-Is

! This post was written long ago. What you're reading is not necessarily how I feel about things in 2016. This blog was started by an 18-year-old in 2001. Please, keep that in mind before you freak out.

A combination of a sentence that I had on my mind for a while, something I wrote in July 2010 and some totally new mental images. Unlike Drowned Kitten and Skeleton Of A Poor Little Umbrella which were excursions to the present time nightmares and hopelessness, this is pure Wrong Star.

Šta-god-to-bilo

Pogledam li vreme, opet je jedan-dvadeset-tri.
Pojavićeš se odnekud da me kazniš.
veliki deo šta-god-toga-bilo ćeš da oslobodiš.
To niko nije uradio pre. A ni posle.
I onda kažu da ja podmećem požare.
Ha.
HA.

Ma, ne može to nikoga da povredi.
Nasmeši se i reci da je to bio samo test.
Samo..."test".

Da, to sam rekla!
Baš to sam rekla!
Ovo je knjiga, ograda, par ključeva.
Papir, znak, pčele.

Poći ću do kolevke koja je ispljunula
horde velikih glasnih ljudi kao što sam ja,
pre nego što se se preko nje preturio kotao,
te sad ubija decu umesto da ih rađa.
Kad se budem vratila, doneću ti presovane tempirane cvetove.
Ne mogu da budu otrovniji od tebe.
Ha.
HA.

Zao do koske, hoćeš li?
Zao do koske, možeš li?
Zao i unutar koske...?
Ne. To je ostavljeno za nas, robove.

"Pogledajte je. samo je pogledajte!
Jede samo da bi bila još gladnija
Jede, kao bar dve gladne godine.
I sve vreme jede tu istu jabuku,
što je više jede, ona je sve veća,
što više jede, to je gladnija."

Sad radar ne radi i svi su otišli,
mogla bih da te iskoristim kao džinovsku flautu,
ili da te ostavim tu i pustim da se raspadneš,
ali uvek završim u tvojoj praznoj kutiji.

Mogla bih da nahranim drveće snegokolačićima,
mogla bih da nahranim sve ovo drveće večnošću.

Kakva usamljena duša.
Kakvo usamljeno mesto.

Nikad više,
nikad više,
ili možda?
Moglo bi?
Samo "test"?!
_______________________________________

Whatever-It-Is

I look at the time and it's one-twenty-three.
You'll come out to punish me.
You'll set a lot of whatever-it-is free.
In a way it's never been done before. Or after.
And then they'll say I'm a firestarter.
Ha.
HA.

Aw, it cannot really hurt anyone.
Smile and say it was just a test.
Just a "test"?!

Yes, that was what I said!
That's exactly what I said!
This is a book, a fence, a pair of keys.
This is paper, a sign, the bees.

I shall walk over to the crib that has spit out
Hordes of large loud people like me,
Before a cauldron tripped over it.
Now it's killing children instead of giving birth.
When I return, I'll bring you dried clockwork flowers,
They cannot be any more toxic than you are.
Ha.
HA.

Bad to the bone, will you be?
Bad to the bone, can you be?
Bad inside of the bone...?
No. Wait.
That's what's left for us slaves.

"Look at her, would you look at her!
She's eating to get more hungry,
She's a bottomless pit.
And she's eating the same apple all along,
The more she eats, the bigger it grows.
The more she eats, the hungrier she is."

And now that the radar's off and everyone's left,
I could Use you whole as a giant flute
Or leave you right there and let you rot
But I end up in your empty box a lot.

I could feed the trees with snowcookies,
I could feed all these trees with forever.

What a lonely face,
What a lonely place.

Never again,
Never again,
Or maybe?
Perhaps?
Just a "test"?!

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