Recent couple of days got me in a Forever Nine mood. That does not mean I'm out of inspiration for Wrong Star, that just means I feel like this cocoon in time has no happy way out and that something awful is going to happen. Some disturbing things I wrote in 2006, when my friends were comparing me to the boy who yelled wolf, suddenly don't float in the air, but sound very realistic. And when I get into such bad, hopeless mood, I don't want to think of it next day, but some interesting things come out of it.
I am aware that this particular p..m could be interpreted as bad taste, fetishism, something SM-related, domestic abuse or even rape. So, while I am definitely leaving the rest to any random reader's interpretations, I feel obliged to say it's none of those. It's probably closest to the fourth in terms of the motif, though, as there is some sort of a male-to-female attack involved. The form of the attack is, however, purely symbolical.
Many thanks to my friend Magda Henriques who read this out when I asked for a random reader who's not that familiar with all of my poetry.
Nisam ni sanjala
da imam toliko mleka.
Kad će već jednom presušiti?
Nisam ni znala,
da ću pustiti da me TI ugrizu,
kad će to jednog dana svanuti?
Jao, pa da, kako sam glupa,
jednog dana je već došlo
i sve se vrtelo oko prosutog mleka.
zagrizi tako jako da mi iščupaš srce.
zameni ga kravljim srcem,
da bih te budem dostojna.
A mogla sam da hranim još jednu vojsku,
šta ću kad mleko nije mirisalo na...znaš.
I never knew
I had so much milk
Where is it going to go away?
I never knew
I'd let THOSE bite me
Is there such a thing as someday?
That's right, stupid me,
Someday came already
And it was all about spilt milk.
bite it hard enough to pull my heart out.
Replace it with a cow's heart,
So I can finally be deserving of you.
And I could have been feeding another army,
What I can do when the milk didn't smell of...you know.