Fashion industry wants to crack my ribs and get me a kidney disease.

! This post was written long ago. What you're reading is not necessarily how I feel about things in 2017. This blog was started by an 18-year-old in 2001. Please, keep that in mind before you freak out.

A disclaimer, before I start. I'm female, but I'm not too feminine. I never wore a skirt or a dress in my adult life and the only time I tried a skirt on, in November 2008, strange things started happening, in that "try everything you never tried" fashion. I'm not interested in most make-up because I look pretty young for my age (sometimes it's a plus, sometimes it gets me into incomfortable situations) and there'll be plenty of time for that once I grow old. Not to mention that I'm more interested in spending money on things I can use creatively. Oh, fine, now I gave myself an idea of what I should do to the make-up I never used - use it instead of crayons and/or watercolours.

Anyway, where was I?
In a world, where everything is way too sexual and where you're branded conservative for not wanting everyone to see your butt crack if you lean down to pick something, buying clothes is sometimes a nightmare. I don't like most things aimed at females of my age, I can't find underpants that will make me warm around the stomach as they're all hipsters, all of the sudden; unless they're bought at some cheap open market booth. On the other side, there are no classic fit jeans that don't cost a fortune. In an underwear shop that was not branded, I was told to go to a plus-size store because they only hold A and B and the most ridiculous thing ever occured when I couldn't get a pair of sneakers I wanted, as "it's not their fault girls with large feet aren't their target audience". I'm sorry? Since when is shoe size 39/40 on a female unusual? I didn't say 50.

From the above, you'd probably assume I look pretty ridiculous and that I'm either a basketball player or overweight. You'd probably assume I have pigskins instead of breasts, too. None of those is true. I'm of a normal height for a female, I actually match a known clothing size and I don't look like a porn star either. I just happen to want comfortable clothes that really are my size, instead of trying to stick myself into XS trousers and AA undergarment.

At this point, these things are getting ridiculous.

This Friday at one of the largest malls in the city, I was waiting to meet a friend and, given that she was about to be more or less late, I decided to have a look at the nearby stores. I got into an underwear store I shall not name as I am definitely not wanting for the employee in question to be fired and I don't want to belittle their brand, either.

Me: "I'm interested in a strapless bra, size __C, to wear with summer clothes, if summer ever comes. That said, do you have them in that 'nude' colour?"

Worker: "You should try a __B, it can look much better than your real size!"

Me: "Isn't this bad for one's rib cage and breast muscles? And wouldn't it cause an illusion of having two pairs of breasts? Don't all the possible fitting guides suggest going for the true size?"

Worker: "Ummm..? I meant to say that it will give you a better lift. It will look more attractive. I was trying to help you..."

I stand straight up to try and give this girl, who might as well be younger than me, a hint that there's nothing abnormal about my body shape and that I'm really not interested in being able to lick my own assets or use them to hold my head if I get sleepy. But she doesn't get it. She hands me what I asked for, in wrong colour (I assume black under thin summer fabrics is sexy? Would that be her response if I asked why she gave me the wrong colour?). Everything's perfectly fine with it, as I obviously only see it as a piece of clothes that will serve its purpose and that won't make me look like Madonna in early stages of her career or Avril Lavigne in her first video. Some fashion no-nos really are no-nos, even for us who aren't into fashion.

Worker: "Is everything all right?"

Me: "Yes, it is. By the way, I saw that on the website there's some sort of a promotion, with 20% off for items from this line. Does it apply here, too?"

Worker: "We're running a different promotion than they do in [the country this brand is from]. If you buy this, you'll get 20% off on a pair of underpants.

I slowly glance at all of their underpants...all very tiny, all for a very low waist.

Me: "Is there anything that could keep a person warm? I have pain in my lower back if I'm wearing low waist underwear during any season other than the summer."

Worker: "We at [the brand] don't make that type of underwear, unless it's for pregnancy and post-partum. There's only the shaping ones, to make your tummy smaller."

I have a look at those, since she insisted and I quickly realise they're low-waist, too. I'm wondering where do they think one's stomach actually is. This is where I give up and decide to leave before she offers me a g-string and explain the wonder it would do for me.

And the only thing I learnt from all this is that the fashion industry wants to crack my ribs and give me a kidney, bladder or eventually ovarian disease. All of these would make sense if they have some sort of a deal with the pharmacological industry and plastic surgeons. It's all about the amazing four-boobed women, muffin tops, camel toes... now if only someone would include corsettes as a standard, we could have a seriously deformed generation without any need for known deformers, such as radioactive fallout coming from 1986. and 1999. Bravo, fashion industry. Bravo. You really know how to make a normal-looking person who's into functionality rather than showing off feel at home.

I can only imagine how situations like this could affect someone without a proper spine, someone very young or someone who doesn't know better.

3 Reactions to Fashion industry wants to crack my ribs and get me a kidney disease.

  1. Selma says...

    Bravo!

     
     
  2. Melanie says...

    My size is DD, but I can't remeber the last time I tried a bra on and it actually fit (and didn't cost 150$). H&M and all those stores offer D, but it has to be a joke, since those bras look and feel more like a B (honestly, it's just enough for ONE of my breasts, haha). But now I know why! It is supposed to give me a lift, aha! You know what? Without having to press my breasts in those fucking tight bras designed for anorexics or 8-year-olds for years, I wouldn't need a lift at all!
    And what's so hard about creating useful underwear? I just don't get it either. Oh and I'm very proud of you since I would have probably trashed this girl the moment she used the word "lift" in order to help me! 😛

     
     
    • Iva says...

      DD? OK, I'll shut up, I'm still standard (and glad, because looking for a FUN DD anything with my temper would result in getting arrested...as in "fuck you, how come you don't have them with Pink Panther?").

      I'm aware of H&M's sizes as everything they make is a size smaller than it really is and I already realised that their underwear should be bought in size 42 instead of 40, for example. I just don't get what they and similar other companies get from that vanity sizing. Convincing someone of size 32 that they're 34 and totally healthy?

       
       

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