Uvek si budan kad sam mrtva / You’re Always Awake When I’m Dead

! This post was written long ago. What you're reading is not necessarily how I feel about things in 2017. This blog was started by an 18-year-old in 2001. Please, keep that in mind before you freak out.

This one is a Wrong Star p..m. Since the series, to my happiness and a huge surprise, already has a number of fans, some of whom have their own conceptual series of p..ms, too; I felt the need to point this out.

I'm all over the marmalade-tomorrow-marmalade-yesterday, White Flag video from Dido, Great Expectations, getting what you wanted when you no longer need it and similar concepts here. At the same time, this is somewhat of a Snow White parody. In the English version, you can leave the gender roles to your personal taste, in the original, however, the genders are pretty clear.

This is partly inspired by a story of a man who was gone within a second during the worst minute in the world's history of the recent quarter of the century. He actually gets mentioned by his first name in one of the other p..ms in this series and I definitely feel for his family, assuming most of them are alive and well; but in this p..m, one of the Wrong Star protagonists takes his place...

...and then, like in that strange 80s film the name of which I can't remember, the next day starts and it's the same one all over and over again. The character who works the night shift spends the day with the other character, who sleeps under some sort of a glass dome all the time and when they leave for their shift at the place they work at, something happens and they vaporise within seconds. Then they come back home dead, to find the other character wide awake in their glass coffin/dome and they condensate over the outside of it and form a number of drops. However, the daysleeper is trying to remove those drops from the inside. It is not clear why, it is not clear if they're aware that the person they're either not willing to spend the day with or, due to some curse, cannot do so, is dead and is water drops. It is not clear if the daysleeper has a job and it is not clear what they do in the nigh when awake, if anything.

This is probably the only one in the Wrong Star series where at least one of the characters is dead. In _______?, the buried character is perfectly alive.

Uvek si budan kad sam mrtva

Svake noći odlazim da radim u trećoj smeni
i ostavljam te da spavaš pod staklenim zvonom
odavno zaraslim u mustre iz nekih drugih soba.

I opet ću nestati u vatri i oblaku pare
i kondenzovati se na spoljnu stranu tvog zida,
odakle me tvoja ruka tobože iznutra skida.

Probudio si se. Uvek si budan kad sam mrtva.

Zašto ne mogu da budem živa kad si budan?
Zašto moram iznova da ginem da bih te videla?
Kako smo se uopšte našli pod istim krovom?
Da li bih ti se kao živa uopšte svidela?

Zaglavljeni smo u ovoj noći.
Hoće li sutra ikad doći?
Hoće li moje jutro ikad svanuti?
Hoće li te neka kap mene ikad ganuti?


You're Always Awake When I'm Dead

Every time I leave to work in the night shift,
I leave you sleeping in your glass dome,
Long covered in patterns from some other rooms.

And I'll yet again disappear in fire and steam
And condensate on the outside of your glass.
Your hand is trying to remove me from the inside.

You have woken up. You're always awake when I'm dead.

Why cannot I be alive when you're awake?
Why do I have to die over and over to see you?
How did we actually end up under the same roof?
Would you even like me if you saw me alive?

We're stuck in this very night.
Will tomorrow ever come?
Will my morning ever break?
Will any drop of me ever touch you?

2 Reactions to Uvek si budan kad sam mrtva / You’re Always Awake When I’m Dead

  1. Ms. Heather aka scribblequeen says...

    You had me with the twisted fairy tale feel to this. Not all things are happily ever after, and much of life is spent asking what if....? and will I ever...?

    Those are the beautiful moments in life, at least to me, when things are tangible but just out of reach enough that you can't quite touch them. But then, I'm weird like that. 🙂

  2. Lelei says...

    In all the doom and gloom of the story, I can see hope. Hope there is more to come, all was not over with death and time. There is hope they will be reunited, and they can be part of each other's life still, even if invisible, untouchable, undetected...


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